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What Needs Updating, and What is Adorable... - A New Cave for Kari's Lair — LiveJournal [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

[ website | Kari's Lair: Home of the Virgo Folkie ]
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What Needs Updating, and What is Adorable... [Feb. 8th, 2018|10:14 pm]
[Tags|, , , , ]
[Current Location |Belltown Pub]
[Current Mood |restlessrestless]
[Current Music |Gosh knows...]

So, here I am in the Belltown Pub (see previous post), wondering why LJ has two Different posting/editing systems.  I really don't need more than one at a time, thanks.  Lately, I'm working on processing and Photoshopping aerial and other photos; a slideshow video of the set from the volcano Haleakala, on the island of Maui, will be in progress shortly, I hope.  I'm trying to keep from getting Overwhelmed by the size and extent of my photo backlog.  I need to finish my music video of the Oscar Wilde song ASAP, which will include footage of me singing along with the audio.

The Home Lair needs updating.  My photo galleries need updating.  I need Paid accounts on my music sites, and I need to create something that actually sells Online.  The lighting in here is keeping me from seeing my laptop's keyboard clearly.  In other news, I've just about exhausted myself explaining to crowds of strangers on Twitter that "allegations" against a certain Controversial public figure are NOT proof that a crime has been Committed, regardless of how Salacious the details of Said allegations might be.  I can only imagine what the Hollywood media would say about ol' Joe Kennedy (JFK's skirt-chasing daddy), if he were alive and on the hunt here and now (he was, more or less, the Harvey Weinstein of his own day).

I've been discovering some new Pagan and/or Scandinavian folk, folk-rock and folk-metal bands recently.  There's Faun, and Omnia, and Heilung, among others.  I want to play in bands like those.  I want a band like the old Afro-Celt Sound System, or like Loreena McKennitt's veteran backing team.  I need, as I've written previously, to raise around $20k to do some of my own recording, editing, music video projects, and open mic tours.  I need to raise money to make money.  While learning more about these bands, and wondering what to do with my own music, I look with envy upon their freedom to believe what they please, and wonder why I'm still Stuck in Unsupportive, Protestant monotheism.  At least some of these folks are unabashedly Pagan; so why can't I change my spiritual beliefs as I please?  I still struggle to do what I want to do with regard to when I go to sleep, and when I wake up, on any Given day.  I'm so Accustomed to an Assigned existence, I hardly know that I want, much Less what I want.  I can hardly keep from feeling Guilty about sitting here in the Belltown Pub munching on guacamole and chips right at this moment.

Is there a deity out there that will dissolve the blocks to my success and prosperity, whatever or whoever is creating and maintaining them?  Is there some Supernatural being out there who will support me in living the life I want, without even trying to drag me Along in their own agenda Instead?  Will they help me shake the feelings that I'm not Allowed to succeed at anything, not Allowed to make money doing anything, not Allowed to follow the spiritual path that I want to journey on?  Is there a religion out there that treats charting your own course in life as a good thing?  I look around at all these folks who feel Free to be musicians, to be sexual beings, to be shamanic practitioners, to be artists, to do what the fuck they please, as long as they harm no one; and I want to know why I can't be like them.  I want to know why all my work is Ignored; why I can't make a living doing anything that's worth doing; and why I hardly dare to dream that things could be the Exact opposite of the way they are Now.

It's time that I made enough money to travel when I want to; shoot, to be able to afford to buy teeshirts and hoodies from my own freaking Cafepress shops.  It's time that these e-commerce sites helped me a bit with marketing and promotion, rather than insisting that their contributors do all their own marketing work.  I want to be able to get Away for long weekends (or longer), to catch up on my photo or video editing, or blogging, or whatever I need to work on.  I want to abandon all Assigned schedules and other obligations, and spend a week in some location with Better weather than we've got in Seattle at present.  I work hard on my music, writing, photos and whatnot; and I want my efforts to pay off.  There's got to be something I can create that actually sells.  I'm done with being Available for outside agendas, unless they line up with mine.  So there...