Good evening, folks! Once again, as nearly-Always during the winter holidays, I'm in Crossville, TN, visiting my Mom and her two Goofy cats (who are both around 12 years of age now, but still Goofy). I'll be here till January 3, when I'll return to Seattle to take stock and try to figure Out why I can't seem to sell teeshirts on Spreadshirt
any more readily than I've sold them on Cafepress LairShops
. I can't seem to make money doing anything Online, and that's just not Cool. It's as if both I and my original work were all Invisible; people don't even see them, much less purchase them. Then again, my teeshirt-design style has changed rather Markedly since I started designing for Teespring and Spreadshirt. Spreadshirt, in Particular, is a bit on the Picky side, insisting on transparent backgrounds for darn-near everything. But I think my overall style is getting Better, and more Disciplined besides. Plus, I gave my Mom a Spreadshirt tee for Christmas featuring Jetta, her black cat, on her own design
at long Last.
Needless to say, I'm doing a lot of research on the Best ways to market Online clothing items with Original designs on them, just assuming for a second that I'm not under the Curse of Disregard for whatever reason. Unfortunately, I still hear this Mocking voice in the back of my mind, saying something like, "No matter what
you do, you're not Meant to have any money in this lifetime." That voice wants me to give Up on everything I want to do, suggesting that I'm grievously offending the Cosmos by daring to want to follow in the footsteps of my Favorite musicians, instead of doing Whatever some fucking Higher Power planned Out for me in advance of my materialization as a Christmas zygote nearly 56 years ago. I don't want
anyone controlling my life, or planning my life Out for me; hence, I'm not Allowed to have any money or Professional success in any area Whatsoever. I'm not even Allowed to earn busking tips much of the time; the weather during the Past fall hasn't cooperated in the slightest. Hallelujah.
I mean, Come on, man, as Joe Biden likes to say. What would be so bloody Terrible if things worked out the way I wanted them to for a change? What if I'd gotten to play backup for my Favorite folk performers
; study and collaborate with my Favorite world music artist
; and tour and record with my Favorite local (Seattle-based) performer
? What's the worst that could happen, anyway? Nobody in this reality or the Next will tell me. What if my teeshirts were flying off the shelves right now, giving me the funds to travel more Often, pay off my debts, and rent (or even buy!) Bigger and Better living quarters? Would anyone be Harmed in the least if I was making Serious money doing things that I actually fucking WANT to do?! Because I'm not about to devote one more second or unit of energy to working at anything that I DON'T want to do. No job is worth doing if it makes you freaking Miserable. Anyway, I intend to find out who or what is making me Invisible to the rest of the world, and call them on the carpet Posthaste. Just because the Cosmic Intelligence can do anything He/She/It wants to do, that doesn't make it Right. Just because you can
do Absolutely Anything doesn't mean you should
. Anyone struggling to collect plastic waste out of the ocean could tell you that. I am nobody's fucking robot, resource, or machine part to use as they please; I'm here to play music and design stuff. And I want to be Successful at the things I
want to do. My will and my life are not for sale; and my trust is Worth more than the Cosmic Intelligence apparently thinks it is.
Anyway, things have got to get Better in 2020. Trump has got to be tossed Out on his fat orange ass, one way or another; and my creative efforts had damn Well be Rewarded for a change. I'm my own boss, and my own parent figure; and if I decide I want to achieve something, the freaking Universe had better get out of the way, if it won't help me navigate from Point A to Point B. Happy New Year, y'all...