Captain Jack Sparrow - Rum and Ecstasy

Some LairLinks y'all should know about (Newly Revised)...

I believe we're Ready to reveal our full range of online LairShops, folks! The Cafepress LairShops harbor teeshirts, caps, coffee mugs, sweatshirts, mousepads, provocative boxers and the like, all with the LairMistress's original art and photographs, Including but not Limited to Irish ones! Also, the Big News is that our Cafepress Premium LairShop, The Lair of Cards, is Now OPEN and RUNNING!! Dedicated primarily to our images on paper products--Posters, Postcards, Greeting Cards, and the like, this new LairShop is still being Built, but is now fully Functional! We may even feature EP CDs and Print/eBooks there in the not-too-distant future; meanwhile, we've got everything Paper-Oriented from Stickers to Framed Prints! Better still, we are researching possibilities for designing posters for other folks as well--I've done this Before, after all, but thus far only on a Volunteer basis.

Anyway, here are LairLinks to our five Cafepress LairShops:

Artifacts of the Lair The LithicLair: Images Inspired by the Ceramic Art of Neolithic Europe All Bunnyz, All the Time Eireann85: Images from the LairMistress's Trips to Ireland in 1984-85, and 2006

UPDATE (THURSDAY, JUNE 11, 2009): There's been a bit of a shakeup on our e-commerce front, LairCronies! The Lair's private collection of prints for sale, the Nifara Gallery, has been permanently Retired and Deleted from the Lair. This is because 1) we weren't getting any sales; and 2) we decided to leave things like custom matting and framing to professionals. Therefore...we are Instead expanding our Imagekind account (see LairLink with the LairMistress's self-photo Below)! Having upgraded to a Pro account, we are expanding both the number of galleries and Uploaded images; we now are Allowed up to 100 galleries with up to 50 images Apiece! These galleries feature Custom matting and printing for each image; and we don't have to purchase these materials ourselves. Sounds like a plan! ALSO: We're still trying to decide what to do with our Photostockplus account, currently Deactivated pending renewal/upgrade. To upgrade or not, that is the question: the Annual upgrade price is a little Steep. We'll hopefully get Around to that eventually. Squidoo made the Horrendous mistake of selling out to Hubpages a while Back; and I haven't updated the lenses-turned-hubs in quite some time.  I must try to do So very Soon, if they still exist; below, Meanwhile, is a graphic link to my profile as it exists now...


The Lair's Eye View: Stock Photo Gallery LithicStock: Imagekind Photo/Art Gallery


Anyway, dear LairCronies, do check out these lovely LairShops; hopefully something will catch your eye, and you'll discover that it's got your name on it! That, and they make Lovely gifts for all occasions! I mean, c'mon, who hasn't gone bloody Bonkers trying to come up with a wedding gift for the couple who have everything (then again, I always find that you can't go wrong for that occasion with some nicely trimmed, dark red table linens from J.C. Penney...)?! TOGETHER ACROSS THE WORLD!!
  • Current Music
    Hiphop tracks in Belltown Pub
Snape, Trump, spells, Covfefe, Resistance

Researching the Lands of my Forebears...

Hi, LairCronies (whoever is LairLurking around here, in the Home Lair's 20th anniversary)! I'm planning to visit my Ancestral countries of Norway and Sweden next summer, Covid protocols Permitting. I haven't quite decided which cities and towns to visit; but I figure I'll have to round it Down to five or six Major sites per country. Here are some Informational sites for Various cities in both countries.  I have a sneaking suspicion that I won't want to go home once I get there...

Trondheim, Norway

Kiruna, Swedish Sapmi

Arendal, Norway (my Grandfather's home town!)

Stockholm, Sweden

Oslo, Norway

Goteberg, Sweden (guess how you pronounce this city's name!)

Tromsø, Norwegian Sapmi (getting into the Arctic region)

Bergen, Norway (This one's currently closed due to Covid-19 restrictions as of 8/28/21.  Hopefully Bergen will reopen to visitors by next summer).

Uppsala, Sweden

Lofoten Islands, Norway (also closed to foreign visitors, b/c Covid)

Malmö, Sweden

Stavanger, Norway (currently closed to entry)

Well, that's Enough for starter information.  I've got until, say, next spring to finalize travel plans, Barring more Covid-19 spikes and variants... *shudders*


My Mom is in Spirit, I'm trying to invest in Immunotherapy, and I Still can't make my own money

Alas, friends; since I last posted Here, my Mom passed away from complications of Glioblastoma Multiforme, on the evening of May 14, less than two weeks before what should have been her 85th birthday (May 27).  She didn't (and couldn't) end her own life; but she was sending out Clear signals to the Universe and her Guardian Angels that she was NOT happy living as an invalid in long-term nursing care, no matter how Nice the facility was; and she wanted the hell out of here.  She hung in there for our last phone conversation on Mother's Day, when she seemed to be in relatively good spirits; but after that, she became increasingly Incoherent and Unresponsive.  Nursing staff whom I spoke to later said that she kept calling out "Help me, help me", but couldn't remember what she wanted help with when someone came to her room to check on her.  It occurred to me Subsequently that she wasn't calling for help from nursing staff, but from God, or the Angels, or the Universe, to assist her in checking out.  Even though she had completed a round of radiation therapy and chemo drugs by late April, it doesn't seem to have helped Much.  I'll include more details in Future posts.  Needless to say, I very much miss the ol' girl; I don't know whom I'll be Able to play fiddle duets with in quite the Same way.  In a Curious way, she was kind of at the center of many things I've done over the years.  At least she remained Active and Creative almost to the end of her life.

Now, to make a Long story Short(er), my brother is in the process of selling my Mom's house and consolidating her Other assets to split between the two of us; we both traveled Back to Crossville for my Mom's memorial; and I got to see my cat-sisters, Jetta and Orrie, with their new humans at Uplands' Memory Care facility.  That's right: the cats were Rehomed with a couple of residents who are living with mild dementia; hopefully it's a Positive experience for both the cats and their new humans, Bob and Sandy.  Since I returned to Seattle on June 2, I have no idea if I'll ever see the cats Again this side of the Rainbow Bridge; but I know that they're safe, loved, and well cared-for by both their humans and the Memory Care nursing staff.

Having received my share of my Mom's life insurance payout, I've opened a brokerage account with E*Trade, and would like to invest in an ETF Associated with immunotherapy.  I figure that would be a good Partial tribute to both my folks, as they both left this world as a result of Rare forms of cancer, despite having no family history of cancers of any kind.  Trouble is, the Token amount that I deposited into my account hasn't quite gone Through to be Available for investment Yet.  Not sure what I'm doing Wrong; guess I'll have to talk to a real, live human at ETrade to clear things up.  I'm a Complete novice and newbie when it comes to the world of investment; I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the finance jargon, and I have no idea Yet what to make of "futures" and stock options.  It sounds like you're plugging funds into something that hasn't happened Yet.  Whatever.  I just want to invest money in index funds, CDs, stocks and mutual funds, the sort of securities that can make you some amount of income, at any rate.  I want to make more money in order to travel more, donate more, invest more, and get myself a bigger living space, after spending 20 years in a tiny studio unit the size of a single-person college dorm room, with half-bath Attached...
Snape, Trump, spells, Covfefe, Resistance

Christmas Premonitions and Other Scary Stuff...

Two months or Less.  That's how Long it took my Mom to go from being a completely Independent senior citizen, driving herself Everywhere and socializing normally, to being Confined to a wheelchair, moved into a senior care facility, and Unable even to go to the bathroom by herself.  And this is not, mind you, Due to a Sudden, catastrophic head injury or anything Similar.  This was Due to developing a particularly nasty, Aggressive form of brain cancer called a Glioblastoma.  Just three months ago, I was visiting her for the Christmas holidays, helping her decorate her house, and jamming on our Trademark fiddle duets, Inspired partly by trad English fiddlers like Eliza Carthy.  Something told me, somehow, that I should videotape our last fiddle session on my phone camera; and it's a bloody good thing I did.  We might not ever do this Again, since her diagnosis.  We're all hoping for a Positive outcome from her Upcoming therapies, including radiation and chemo drugs; but she might only have a year Left with us, or less.  FUCK CANCER.

I've now been staying at her house in Crossville, for going on six weeks, as she adjusts to her assisted-living apartment; I'm returning home to Seattle on St. Patrick's Day, Barring some disaster.  Her two cats, now both 13 years of age, will be living Close to her at the same facility, sharing living quarters with a couple of folks in the Memory Care division of Uplands Village in the community of Pleasant Hill (also in Cumberland County).  My brother has, via Durable Power of Attorney, been managing her financial stuff, paying bills, and what-have-you; but he's completely run Out of leave from work, though he's been working from home, due to Covid-19 precautions, for Much of the Past year.  As Daylight Savings Time took effect Early this morning (March 14), I lost an hour of sleep, which I could ill afford; but I managed to wake up just Enough to clean out the refrigerator and vacuum the rugs around the house.  The cats have been driving me Nuts vying for attention, as I try to attend to Assorted practical matters; but I love them to pieces Anyway, and will miss them desperately.  I hope I get to see them Again after this.

Aside from a couple of new teeshirt designs, I haven't gotten a whole lot of Online work Accomplished since I've been here.  My Home Lair needs a LOT of updating, as does the Folksite Music Review site, the Cafepress LairShops, and the Climate Strike blog.  I've about Given up on the Coloring Book Review site and the Confundus Conspiracy fanfic blog on InsaneJournal, though those could Always be Revived, if I felt anything Resembling motivation.  You might say I'm linking to them Here just to keep the links Handy.  Gosh knows what pages might be Out there that I've forgotten about completely.  I don't know why I can't feel more Motivated, although I have a pretty good suspicion that motivation might be Easier to come by if my Abovementioned endeavors got a bit more Public support and encouragement.  I guess it's time to take a crash course from Randy Rainbow (whose kitten turned out to be a female, now named Tippi) on how to make Relevant and hysterically Funny satirical music videos.  Those whom the gods love, and their relatives encourage, grow Young.  And really Rich and Famous.  Those whom the gods love do NOT become Orphaned by brain tumors, and Encouraged to become home care aides, just because they do a reasonably Good job of helping their Ailing parents remember how to use a cellphone...
Captain Jack Sparrow - Rum and Ecstasy

Apparently, I'm Not Too Old For Musical Crushes...

Here I am, folks, four months after my most Recent LJ post, to announce that I have a new music/comedy/internet crush.  You'd think, at age 56, that I'd be too Old for that sort of thing; but something in me begs to differ.  It happens to be this guy, one of the Younger sensations on Youtube.  Well, actually, he's been Around on Youtube for about ten years; but I only first heard of him around the beginning of the pandemic lockdown in March.  I followed a video link from Somewhere (I don't even remember from where--Twitter, Facebook, or some Similar location); landed on this video (a song parody based on the opening song of Fiddler on the Roof), and got Hooked within minutes, on a guy who calls himself a "musical theater nerd", which is certainly not the kind of music to which I normally gravitate.  But here I am, some six months Later, bingeing on Randy Rainbow song parodies.

I'm far from the Only person who has become Besotted with this Manhattan-based gay Jewish musical comedian.  Randy and his videos are frequently Described by fans as "the only thing keeping me sane during the pandemic and Trump-era shitshow."  Alas, I had never heard of him in 2018-2019, when he performed live shows here in Seattle at the Paramount Theater and McCaw Hall in the Seattle Center.  I just hope it will soon be Safe to do live music events Again, as Randy's live shows, with just a handful of backing musicians, come highly Recommended.  He seems Friendly and Approachable, can be found in many Different platforms on social media; and does interviews and photo-sharing in his apartment so Often that I'm starting to feel like I've visited the place.  Plus, he's a cat person like myself and my Mom; and he just adopted a wee Persian kitten named Sweeney Todd (!!) less than a week Ago (five months after his Longtime feline companion, Mushi, passed away at age 17).  Already the little Chincilla-Persian darling is lounging alongside Randy, watching CNN, including tonight's Vice-Presidential debate, featuring the fly on Mike Pence's head.  Don't know what the kitty thinks of Randy's adoration of Chris Cuomo and Barbra Streisand.

Anyway, I'll probably write more about Randy and Sweeney later.  I'd like to meet both of them and get to know them better, even though they live on exactly the Opposite side of the country.  I'd also like to learn to use the software Randy uses to make his Ingenious, Hilarious song-parody videos; namely Adobe After Effects and Final Cut Pro.  I can only imagine what they cost, even on Amazon.  On Friday, Randy will be doing a Live Q&A--what he calls a "fireside chat"; so perhaps I can buzz in a request for Recommended tutorials on Youtube regarding how to use those programs.  Stay well and stay Tuned.
Snape, Trump, spells, Covfefe, Resistance

Oh, for the Idyllic days of 2000's LiveJournal!

I just had to reset my LJ password in order to Login.  Maybe I'm becoming a she-codger; but why does everything have to be Revised, Reset, Upgraded and Whatever??  I had the Same freaking password for 16 years; and suddenly, it doesn't work Anymore.  Not enough Different sorts of characters.  Sigh...

I'd nearly abandoned LJ, along with practically everyone Else, because Facebook was eating my brain; and no one seemed to be posting here Anymore.  Especially no Interesting fanfiction.  Severus Snape isn't quite the sex god he used to be since he got Assassinated, though now and Again, he gets Resuscitated for a threesome with a now-middle-aged Harry and Draco.  But the Trending fandoms Now are those with which I have no familiarity at all--a problem for all of us who don't have subscriptions to Netflix, Hulu, or any Other streaming service.  Nobody makes movies for cinemas Anymore!!  I must be getting Old, though I really don't feel my age.  I remember my Norwegian great-grandmother, Theresa Jacobsen, being Found up in the attic painting its ceiling not Long before her 97th birthday.  Did she still feel like a 30-something at heart?  I have it on good authority from my late Maternal grandmother that living into one's 90's is really not Fun, especially when both your hearing and vision are going down the tubes.

And yet...I still feel like blogging Sometimes, even if nobody ever reads this post.  I intend to provide links to my original fanfics very Shortly.  I'm tired of debating things on Twitter (you practically have to have at least Intermediate-level debating skills if you want to survive on Twitter; otherwise you will be Called Out, Canceled, Deplatformed, Ghosted, or Elsewise chewed up and spat Out by tweeters one-third your age.  Sociologically fascinating, yes; but also a Massive pain in the ass), and arguing politics on Facebook.  On Instagram, I am currently following several dozen cats and dogs; they don't seem to give a crap about your politics or philosophical leanings.  They just love you unconditionally, even if you live on a Different continent.  I am having a bit of trouble posting regularly on my Climate Strike blog, not Due to lack of subject matter; but Due to way too freaking Much of it.  I simply can't keep up with everything Happening in Climate Strike communities.  Even there, I may well get eaten Alive for not being vegan, ironically Enough. 

Oh well.  I'm still Here, with or without anyone reading this...
Snape, Trump, spells, Covfefe, Resistance

Better Get In One Last Entry Before 2019 Bites It...

Good evening, folks!  Once again, as nearly-Always during the winter holidays, I'm in Crossville, TN, visiting my Mom and her two Goofy cats (who are both around 12 years of age now, but still Goofy).  I'll be here till January 3, when I'll return to Seattle to take stock and try to figure Out why I can't seem to sell teeshirts on Spreadshirt or Teespring any more readily than I've sold them on Cafepress LairShops.  I can't seem to make money doing anything Online, and that's just not Cool.  It's as if both I and my original work were all Invisible; people don't even see them, much less purchase them.  Then again, my teeshirt-design style has changed rather Markedly since I started designing for Teespring and Spreadshirt.  Spreadshirt, in Particular, is a bit on the Picky side, insisting on transparent backgrounds for darn-near everything.  But I think my overall style is getting Better, and more Disciplined besides.  Plus, I gave my Mom a Spreadshirt tee for Christmas featuring Jetta, her black cat, on her own design at long Last.

Needless to say, I'm doing a lot of research on the Best ways to market Online clothing items with Original designs on them, just assuming for a second that I'm not under the Curse of Disregard for whatever reason.  Unfortunately, I still hear this Mocking voice in the back of my mind, saying something like, "No matter what you do, you're not Meant to have any money in this lifetime."  That voice wants me to give Up on everything I want to do, suggesting that I'm grievously offending the Cosmos by daring to want to follow in the footsteps of my Favorite musicians, instead of doing Whatever some fucking Higher Power planned Out for me in advance of my materialization as a Christmas zygote nearly 56 years ago.  I don't want anyone controlling my life, or planning my life Out for me; hence, I'm not Allowed to have any money or Professional success in any area Whatsoever.  I'm not even Allowed to earn busking tips much of the time; the weather during the Past fall hasn't cooperated in the slightest.  Hallelujah.

I mean, Come on, man, as Joe Biden likes to say.  What would be so bloody Terrible if things worked out the way I wanted them to for a change?  What if I'd gotten to play backup for my Favorite folk performers; study and collaborate with my Favorite world music artist; and tour and record with my Favorite local (Seattle-based) performer?  What's the worst that could happen, anyway?  Nobody in this reality or the Next will tell me.  What if my teeshirts were flying off the shelves right now, giving me the funds to travel more Often, pay off my debts, and rent (or even buy!) Bigger and Better living quarters?  Would anyone be Harmed in the least if I was making Serious money doing things that I actually fucking WANT to do?!  Because I'm not about to devote one more second or unit of energy to working at anything that I DON'T want to do.  No job is worth doing if it makes you freaking Miserable.  Anyway, I intend to find out who or what is making me Invisible to the rest of the world, and call them on the carpet Posthaste.  Just because the Cosmic Intelligence can do anything He/She/It wants to do, that doesn't make it Right.  Just because you can do Absolutely Anything doesn't mean you should.  Anyone struggling to collect plastic waste out of the ocean could tell you that.  I am nobody's fucking robot, resource, or machine part to use as they please; I'm here to play music and design stuff.  And I want to be Successful at the things I want to do.  My will and my life are not for sale; and my trust is Worth more than the Cosmic Intelligence apparently thinks it is.

Anyway, things have got to get Better in 2020.  Trump has got to be tossed Out on his fat orange ass, one way or another; and my creative efforts had damn Well be Rewarded for a change.  I'm my own boss, and my own parent figure; and if I decide I want to achieve something, the freaking Universe had better get out of the way, if it won't help me navigate from Point A to Point B.  Happy New Year, y'all...
Captain Jack Sparrow - Hallelujah

I'm in a Traveling mood...

I'm in the mood to travel Somewhere; all the more reason to try to make Serious money doing something, FFS.  I want to travel more Often in any case; both for Musical tours, and for Archaeological tourism, in Various parts of the world.  And if I have to resort to Magickal or Miraculous means to achieve this end, well, Whatever.  It's well Past time to get Going on a musical project I've hoped and planned for over Many years Now.

I want to make a Return visit to Ireland, as well as my First-Ever visit to Scandinavia--hopefully in time for Midsummer festivities in both Norway and Sweden.  Perhaps I could gain sponsors if I set up a Gofundme page Presenting myself as a Folkloric photojournalist, though I'm not holding my breath.  I want to see the Neolithic islands of Europe, like Crete, Malta, Sardinia and the Orkneys.  What is my Best chance of earning money for these trips?  It's about time to upload my novellas in ebook form, if only I can gain Enough attention for them to make it Worthwhile.  Is it Possible to join an Established band temporarily as a Guest musician/singer of sorts?  Can I get Corporate sponsorship for a photojournalism project getting shots of Maltese archaeological sites?  Can I convince Enough corporate hotshots to buy my Original photos or digital artwork to net me some Serious revenues?

The jinx is still There, endlessly trying to narrow my horizons; telling me that I'm "not supposed to have any money" in this life, nor any Significant professional success.  Are there any cutting-edge pills I can take to bury this bullshit?  It's not telling me that I don't deserve to have money or success; it's telling me that I'm not destined for wealth or success, and God or something is going to put the kibosh on anything I try to overrule my fate.  I don't want that kind of reality; yet all gut feelings seem to be telling me that I have no choice in the matter.  Why?  Well, that's just what's in the cards; or Else, it's because I'm too old and fat to achieve anything of any consequence that also pays worth a crap.  I need Serious help.  I also strongly suspect that I wouldn't be in these straits if my Musical role models hadn't mostly died on me; or if those who are still Alive would deem me Worthy of sharing a stage with them...
Difficult times for Severus

Niches, Niches Everywhere; and Not a Damn One Sells...

...Not for me, anyway.  At least once a week, I get an email from Nichehacks, talking about the top 7-10 HUGEST niches out there; it's pretty Cool, if you're Keen on plugging she-shed designs or DIY baby formula recipes.  One of the niches I'm trying to work with, Adult Coloring Books, is supposedly a Worthwhile market niche; I just haven't seen any return on my efforts Yet.  My primary focus, on my music review website and blog, is promoting new folk and world music; I have no idea if anyone even visits that page.

There's a kind of tension between choosing a Profitable niche, and choosing a niche that you have some Vague interest in.  If you're Lucky, those two spheres will intersect Somewhere.  It definitely helps to work with a niche in which you have some knowledge and experience, so that your content-writing will give people the impression that you have a clue what you're talking about.  I've looked at any number of niches on display on Amazon and eBay; believe it or not, I briefly considered doing affiliate marketing for gold and other precious metals, as well as geodes and crystals in Various manifestations.  I mean, who out there doesn't want a collection of crystal eggs to brighten up their home's or office's energy?  However, I still maintain that it's Best to write content on stuff you know a thing or two about (I probably reached my marketing high point in writing a Facebook post about my Preferred brand of guitar capo); but that Nichehacks guy insists that it's totally Possible (and likely quite Common) to "hack your way" to sounding like an authority about darn-near anything, up to and Including psilocybin microdosing and Paleo recipes.

And then there's me, the fat fiftysomething folksinger who can't sell water to a camel, due to being under a jinx of Some kind.  Said jinx is Attributable, I think, to Certain people praying and wishing for me to fail.  In dissecting the jinx, what I uncovered was:

  • My Mom: Hardly anyone cares about/is Interested in the stuff you're Interested in; ergo, it's not Worthwhile, so you really ought to give it up and do what other people (i.e. herself; she seriously freaking hated Wayne Dyer)  care about, and want you to do, Instead.

  • My aunt: Your creative work is all about you seeking attention. Nobody is Interested in your work; and you're not even all that good at it. Give it up, and do some job that's actually in demand (and doesn't make me Jealous, like the fact that you're exceeding me in guitar playing).

  • My brother, the Texas Instruments middle-management dude: Well, good luck with whatever you're Interested in; but I'm not going to help you fundraise for an open mic tour, recording project, or anything Else to do with getting your music out there (even though I'm in a perfectly good position to help you). I'm not going to buy from your online stores, Either. Toss all that Aside, and be a corporate slave like everyone Else.

  • My gaslighting close friend: Your creative work is all bullshit, and not Worth spending time on. It's selfish and Lazy of you to spend time and effort on your music and creative work. Give it all up, and help me "make a difference" and save the world in true Type A/Messianic fashion. I need someone to organize my life, and I can't bring myself to ask anyone Else to help out in my office.

  • Seriously, that's what my Supposed "nearest and dearest" are constantly, literally telling me. Hence, it stands to reason that they are the ones constantly wishing, hoping, and praying for me to fail--even to the extent of my making next-to-nothing in busking tips most of the time. Nice, n'est-ce pas?

Now, there's a niche that I know something about: jinxes and other Negative energy attacks from people close to you!  Maybe it's time I wrote some content on the topic of Psychic Self-Defense...

Snape, Trump, spells, Covfefe, Resistance

When Looking for Work, Start With What You Really Want First...

Okay, LairCronies, here's the Crusty cynic/codger in me speaking...

I've figured out by Now that serving coffee at the coffeehouse will NOT land you a gig as a performer at the coffeehouse.  Volunteering at a college radio station during its fundraising period will NOT get you a slot with your own musical radio program.  Working as an event staffer at the Seattle Center will NOT result in a job doing concert promotion.  Spending years on a Local folk music society's Concert Production Committee WON'T get you Onstage as a performer any faster.  Volunteering at a Local music festival is NOT exactly how you get to perform at Said festival, unless you prefer busking along the perimeter Anyway.

Okay.  Whatever.  You get the message.  I learned all of this the up-close-and-personal hard way; I speak from Firsthand experience here.  You've got to ask, right from the beginning, for EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT, and negotiate from There.  Starting on the "ground floor", with the cruddy "get your foot in the door" gigs will, more Often than Not, result in you being Stuck at the Same level until you hand in your resignation, or get Laid Off (or, like me, you flat-out abandon the ground-floor gig by not calling in to see if there are shifts Available, anymore).  Rather, get the word out there that concert promotion, or a radio program, or a festival or coffeehouse slot, is what you're actually looking for, and save your sanity.  Let the Appropriate gatekeepers know, in no Uncertain terms, that you will NOT start at the dead-end volunteer position, and work your way up; you want to be the freaking performer at the club, or stadium, or festival stage, not the concession staffer or production worker.  You weren't put on earth to be anyone's Unpaid labor or backstage support person, especially when you're the one who needs a support system to succeed.

Now, of course, when you tell the truth to the Aforementioned gatekeeper(s), you'll be Amazed at how fast their demeanor changes.  Their friendly "we appreciate your Unpaid time and labor SO much" expression will drop Faster than those whirling "helicopter-seeds" from Whichever tree species they fall from.  They'll try to persuade you that you HAVE to start off as a Lowly volunteer if you want to be a performer for their organization.  DON'T BUY IT.  They'll try to tell you that they really have NO idea how you get a simple gig slot at their club, or coffeehouse, or radio station.  Tell them if they really have no clue "what to tell you", that you want to speak to someone who DOES have the information you need.  If all Else fails, play the Privilege Card--that is, tell the person, "Would you 'not know what to tell me' if I was a young, thin, hot-looking, white male musician?"  That, of course, will make them squirm like mad; but you know doggone Well that the gatekeepers of the world would know EXACTLY what to tell someone who "fits their image" of a performer, radio host, or whatever.  They just don't want to give YOU a fair chance if you, for Whatever reason, fail to resemble a movie star or supermodel.  If it's a gig slot you want, tell them so; and give them a business card with a link to your Youtube channel or SoundCloud profile.  Now, this may sound "easier Said than Done"; but just remember how much you DON'T want to spend ages volunteering to help other musicians put on shows, only to find out that you're practically Expected to sacrifice your firstborn just to get a ten-minute gig-opening slot.

And don't even get me Started on trying to work with other, more Established performers, radio hosts, etc.  That's an issue for Another post Herein...
  • Current Mood
    cynical cynical